His Thoughs
by Cathia Netwick
Summary: Companion and more to 'In Her Mind'. You don't need to read it first but it may be a good idea. From Draco's POV ONESHOT


Okay, so I have a little bit of writers block when it comes to my other Maximum Ride story. So I decided to write a little companion story to 'In Her Mind'. In fact I'll probably be writing more from other people's point of view too, but I'm not so sure about that. Anyway, this is a little more detailed, a little less scattered and has more about what happened then 'In Her Mind". But still it might be a little confusing. Anyway, tell me what you think! (and read 'In Her Mind' too!)

* * *

I remember those days back in school. Back when I would think about me. About my purpose. About what I was supposed to do. About my meaning. But then things changed, and my whole life was turned around. I ran into her. And I didn't hate her anymore.

As much as I think about it, I still don't know how it happened. And trust me I think about it a lot. It's hard not to every time I see her.

I saw her in Diagonally, just walking down the street. This was about two years ago. She wasn't smiling, she wasn't frowning, she didn't look thoughtful. In fact she didn't look there at all. And when I talked to her I found out that she truly wasn't.

So I set out to find her, and keep her there. Of course there were complications. Her boyfriend being the main one with her family coming in a close second. Then there was the paparazzi to consider. You see, people know me in both good and bad ways. And people know her. As the Boy Wonder's girl.

Of course back when I was thinking this I was getting way ahead of myself. I didn't even know whether or not she would agree with this. After all she loved her _boyfriend_ didn't she? She was too much of a goody-goody Gryffindor to do anything to hurt him or her family so much.

Or so I thought.

Then came the night I found her, lonely and broken down, not to mention stone drunk, in a bar not far from Knockturn Alley. She was crying, and when I asked her why she said she didn't know. She might have insulted me too, but I really don't remember.

I stayed with her. I still don't know why. But I did. I guess I didn't want anything bad to happen to her. Silly, huh?

Good thing I did though, 'cause she fainted right about when the bar was closing. I didn't know where she lived so I did the only thing a guy in my position could do and I took her home. Carried her bridal style.

I wasn't quite sure what to do after that, but I laid her down on the bed. Then I watched. I just watched. I wasn't waiting for anything, but somehow I knew that I shouldn't stop watching. That it was my duty.

Until I fell asleep.

A few minutes later I opened my eyes again. Hers were open too. We just stared at each other. Or I stared at her. She just stared. And still I could tell she wasn't there. And still I wanted to help her back.

In silence I helped her stand up. She was extremely hung over. I showed her to the bathroom and left her alone to take a shower while I went to grab some hang over potion I had left from a pervious night.

Half an hour had gone by and she still wasn't out. The shower was no longer running, but I was a little worried. I waited another half an hour, and other. Still she didn't come out.

I knocked on the bathroom door and called her name. No answer. I knocked louder, called louder. Still no answer.

The door was unlocked so I turned the knob and walked in, expecting the worst.

She was curled up in the tub, arms around her legs, completely naked. Her face was soaked in her own tears and was almost as bright as her hair.

But she was there. She wasn't just a shell. And while that made me so happy my heart broke at the same time. I couldn't see her like that. It was too painful. I couldn't let her feel like that.

I climbed into the tub with her. I didn't care that I didn't fit with her there too, or that my cloths got wet from the droplets of water, left over from her shower.

I wrapped my arms around her and cuddled her close. That's not something I do with women. Or people. But it seemed right.

She turned her head and cried into my chest, sobs wracking her body. With every tear my heart broke more and more; something I didn't think was possible. I thought it had been severed to its limits. I was wrong.

We stayed in the tub, even after she finished crying. I don't know how long. Hours.

After the longest day of my life and tea with the girlfriend of someone I hate she said that it was time for her to go home. Home. Where he was. In winced, but I don't think she noticed.

Right before she left she turned to me. She smiled. All the cracks in my heart immediately healed after seeing that smile. Then she thanked me and left. For the rest of the day I was lightheaded and smiling.

We ran into each other a couple of more times before actually deciding to schedule a meeting together. That night we had dinner at a muggle restaurant that wasn't far from my apartment. We talked for hours, walking around the small town when the restaurant manager finally kicked up out.

The second time we met together was the first time I heard her laugh. We had been talking about Hogwarts and some of the funnier moments. I forget exactly what I had mentioned but we both laughed so hard for the longest time after that. I loved the sound of her voice. God that sounds cheesy. But it's true. I do.

We had developed a friendship, and as far as I knew no one knew about it but us. But apparently friendship wasn't enough for her. Nor was it for me. So it grew to more, just as I had hoped it someday would. Back in the beginning.

The guilt in her eyes after we slept together wasn't obvious, but I could still tell it was there. I knew her that well.

After that I didn't see her for almost a month. And yes, I did look. A little to hard. But it was worth it when I found her.

That was the night we talked. I mean really talked. She told me how she had never really felt right with Harry, but she had just let it go, thinking it was what she wanted. What was meant to be.

Then she told me how her family was always pressuring her to do certain things. Like becoming an auror. She had originally wanted to be a healer, but with the war going on and her family had said that it would be more helpful for her to be an auror.

It had become too much for her. Always listening to people. Never really having a say in her own life.

After that she told me how I made her feel better. How I made her forget about her troubles. My heart swelled up with self-pride at this. Knowing that I made her feel this way. Makes it hard to imagine that she used to hate me so much. But she doesn't any more.

About a year past and we started to get into a regular schedule. Every Friday we would go out. Who knows where. Then we would go back to my place. After that it was just chance.

She smiled more often now. She laughed too. She had crawled out of her shell, and she wasn't going back. Not if I had anything to say about it.

But all I could think of was how she was still with .him.. I wondered what she was doing every night that I didn't see her, every day she wasn't there.

And then I wondered if Mr. Boy Wonder noticed how much happier she seemed. I wondered if he thought it was because of him.

The thought burned my insides. The thought of him taking credit for something I did.

And the thought that he might still be doing things to her. With her.

All I could do was imagine that she said no every night. Wishful thinking that was. And I knew that.

Then she started coming more and more. I would never have complained, but for the guilt in her eyes that was increasing by each passing day. That hurt the most. It hurt her too. I could tell. Then the laughing stopped. And then the smiles. She started slipping back into her shell. And I was getting scared.

Until one day. One day after she left. I sat in my living room, staring at the fire. Fire. I almost wanted to jump in. Why? I was dying. Because I didn't have her to myself. I had to share her. I hated that.

I was contemplating what to do. How to handle this. Whether to continue this.

Then I heard the door open. She walked in and I rushed up to greet her. I was surprised to see her. She never came back after she left. But then…

My eyes widened with surprise. She was smiling again. A large, genuine smile. She looked truly happy. I missed that.

But concern filled my mind within a moment's time. Why was she back? Why did she look so happy? What had happened? And why did she have her stuff with her?

She went up to me and kissed me with more feeling then she had ever kissed before.

It was awesome, but still, I needed to know what was going on. So we sat down on the couch. And she explained.

She explained how she had gone back to their place. She explained how she had found him in bed with some slut from his work. At first all I could be was furious at him. For hurting her so much. But then I realized that she was happy. And I was confused.

I'm an idiot. A split second later I realized that that meant that she wasn't with him any more. Which meant we could be with each other. If she wanted to.

And she did. She asked me if I wanted to continue this. Continue us. Of course I said yes!

She squealed and hugged me close. I started nibbling her neck when she pushed me away. I looked at her in confusion, my heart sinking to my stomach.

Her eyes were wide, and she wasn't really looking at anything. Slowly a tear dripped from her eye. A single sob shook through her.

And then she broke. She sobbed and cried and sobbed some more. I held her close, and let her cry all of the pain out.

That night I made sure she fell asleep. Deep sleep. I got up quickly and got dressed. As fast as I could I apperated over to the lobby of his apartment. I had found out where they had lived before. Just in case. I guess.

I hurried up the stairs and right up to their apartment door. I knocked. There was scuffling inside, and voices. After a few seconds the door opened. There he stood, hair rustled more then usual, trying to put his glasses on.

I tried to contain my fury for a few seconds, but that was all I could manage. I punched Potter's lights out, and walked away before I even saw him hit floor.

Satisfied I apperated home, delighted to find Ginny still asleep.

The next morning the headlines made Ginny laugh. I couldn't help it I did too. It was funny.

"Hey Draco?" she said when we stopped cracking up.

"Yeah Gin?" I asked, turning my attention to her. She looked so cute sitting at my kitchen table in her pajama's.

"Y-you know. I-I love you."

And now I know my purpose. I am here for her. I am meant to keep her happy. To keep her alive. I live for her. And her alone.


End file.
